THE IMPERFECTION, PART 2
INT COFFEE SHOP - DAY
Charlie and Amber meet up at their favorite coffee shop. The bells jingle as Amber walks in. The barista, INÉS, is a beautiful Latin X girl, and Charlie is madly in love with her.
CHARLIE
Amber! Over here.
AMBER
Sup.
CHARLIE
Are you feeling better?
AMBER
Yeah, thanks. I’m so tired of this shit, Charlie. I’ve busted 12 so far this year. They won’t even give me insurance anymore.
CHARLIE
And its still spiders? I mean, that’s what you’re seeing?
AMBER
Yeah! I hate spiders!! They just start crawling out of the phone. Get in my eyes, my hair.
CHARLIE
Well, look at the bright side- its got to cut down on your screen time?!
AMBER
Yeah I’m not going have to worry about the 5G.
CHARLIE
Hey, did you hear from Sadler?
AMBER
Nothing. You?
CHARLIE
Nope. I gotta say, you seem really calm about this.
AMBER
Well, its only been a week dude. I mean, he misses one appointment in three years? Doesn’t seem like we need to call the cops or anything.
CHARLIE
I don’t know. I went by his office, and its gone.
AMBER
(genuinely alarmed)
What?! The whole building?!
CHARLIE
No, the building is there, and everything else is the same, but his name is gone off the door buzzer, and his neighbor acted like she’d never heard of him...
AMBER
Ok that’s alarming. I’m going to need some caffeine to handle this.
CHARLIE
I got it. Americano?
AMBER
Oh, look at that. Your girl Inés is working the counter. I should have known- Wait, are you just using me as your wing man?
CHARLIE
No, we have important shit to go over here, Amber. We’re here for Dr Sadler. Plus, I don’t need a wing man.
AMBER
You fucking better not. I am your friend but I am not a prop, Charlie. Using a black woman to be your wing man is... well its very effective, I’ll tell you that. Powerful mojo. But you have to ask my permission.
CHARLIE
Amber just shut the fuck up. For real. Do you want some coffee or not?
AMBER
You’re paying. Let’s go.
They walk up to the counter.
CHARLIE
Hi, hi Inés.
INÉS
Oh hi uh...
CHARLIE
Charlie. I’m Charlie.
AMBER
He’ll have a flat white. I’ll have an americano.
INÉS
Flat white, Americano. What size?
CHARLIE
The usual. A small. I usually get a small--
AMBER
Large for me.
(to Charlie but still loud)
For fuck’s sake Charlie, don’t make me sad. Its early in the day.
You hear them walk away from the counter and put their stuff down at a table.
CHARLIE
Why do you do that?
AMBER
Do what?
CHARLIE
Embarrass me in front of Inés like that. You know I like her.
AMBER
You want the truth?
CHARLIE
Yes.
AMBER
Because I like this place. They make good coffee, and they’re nice to me, and its centrally located. Now, you and Inés... its probably not going to happen. I mean, you’re nice looking enough, don’t get me wrong. But you have a debilitating mental illness that involves a constant stream of hallucinations! And she’s like a nine point five on a bad day. I mean, look at her! She’s got legs like a praying mantis! Perfect skin! Don’t even get me started on the hair. Have you ever seen hair that shiny? It could blind a motherfucker. So I just think its highly unlikely that she’s going to fall for a dude that’s batshit crazy.
CHARLIE
Nice.
AMBER
I know its harsh, man. I know it. But let’s say you guys start something, and it goes south and gets awkward, right? Well then its highly likely that we’ll never be able to come back here. I don’t want to have to find another coffee shop. A lot goes into it. Its exhausting.
There’s a tape stop sound effect and the ambient sounds of the coffee shop are half speed, warbly and underwater. Strings play in emotional sweeps. SFX of birds chirping and gentle wind through trees.
CHARLIE
Do you see that?
AMBER
See what?
CHARLIE
Everyone’s moving in slow motion. Its like time got warped. And there’s a deer looking at me over there by the window.
AMBER
Nope. This one’s all you.
CHARLIE
There’s little birds flying around. And Inés is doing a thing with her hair.
AMBER
A slo mo hair flip?
CHARLIE
Is that the thing where you swing your head and your hair kind of flies around?
AMBER
Yeah. Hair flip. Universal sign language for I’m hot as fuck. Its what they do at the end of every shampoo commercial.
CHARLIE
Its...wow. You’re right about the hair.
The tape effect goes in reverse, the ambient sounds go back to normal.
CHARLIE
We really have to find Dr Sadler or we’re fucked.
AMBER
Super fucked. You ok?
CHARLIE
Yeah, I’m back. I’m cool.
AMBER
Ok. Its all good, I got your back.
He takes a beat to collect himself, Amber pats his shoulder.
AMBER
You good?
CHARLIE
Yup! All good. Phew.
AMBER
So ok: what was that weird stuff you were asking me about? A sports bar and a something and a something?
CHARLIE
Well, the waitress at the Chinese restaurant told me she could tell me about Dr Sadler if I complete three trials. The Old Factory. The Arena. The Inventor’s Basement.
AMBER
That’s just weird, Charlie. And who told you to go the Chinese restaurant?
CHARLIE
Well. NPR did.
AMBER
Oh I trust NPR. That’s solid news programming.
CHARLIE
So what do you think?
Awkward pause. Zero energy.
AMBER
Hmm.
CHARLIE
Huh.
AMBER
I got nothing.
CHARLIE
Fuck, Amber, we need to figure this out?
AMBER
Well I was trying, but then it got boring and now I need to pee.
We hear Amber push her chair back. Suddenly there’s a bit of commotion towards the front of the coffee shop.
INÉS
Hey get out of here! You can’t put those up in here any more- I told you that.
ARENA GOON
What? Its a community bulletin board. I’m a member of the community, right? Right?
Sounds like he’s trying to drum up support from the patrons, but no one really gives a shit.
INÉS
Dude, you can’t advertise for scams in here, ok? Just, get out. Go. Come on now.
Charlie gets up and walks over- he’s thinking this might be a chance to be chivalrous.
CHARLIE
Is this guy bothering you?
INÉS
No, no its fine. No big deal.
CHARLIE
I think the lady asked you to leave, buddy.
ARENA GOON
Ah fuck you man.
The room goes quiet. There’s a cinematic action ‘boom.’
CHARLIE
(whispering with mad conviction)
Do you have any idea how many anti psychotic medications I’m on right now? Seven. I literally can’t be charged with a crime. Its impossible.
ARENA GOON
(as he’s exiting the shop)
Alright, alright man. You fucking psycho. I’m just trying to help the community. People should know about the Arena!
Amber just came out from the bathroom.
AMBER
Oh shit. Did Charlie do something. Come on, man, let’s sit down.
INÉS
No, no not at all. That other guy has been coming in here and putting up flyers for some scam, its a pyramid scheme or something. A friend of mine got sucked into it, they stole all her money. And Charlie helped out.
AMBER
Did he say people need to know about the Arena?
CHARLIE
(in a lover’s haze)
I did help out a little didn’t I?
INÉS
You’re next coffee is on me.
CHARLIE
Like just regular coffee or is an espresso based drink ok?
AMBER
Hello? ARENA? Ring any bells? Here...
She picks up a piece of paper of the floor.
AMBER
Charlie, come with me. Thanks Ines, I got him. Everything’s cool.
INÉS
Thanks, Charlie. Thanks a lot.
CHARLIE
Oh for sure any time absolutely.
She shepherds Charlie back to the table.
AMBER
Look at this man. He must have dropped one of the flyers.
(reading)
The Arena. A new wealth protocol. What the fuck is a wealth protocol?
CHARLIE
She digs me. Did you pick up on that? There was a definite electricity-
AMBER
Charlie! The Arena! A wealth protocol! What the what?
CHARLIE
(back on earth)
Wow. Ok, yeah, that’s stupid. I think they just call it a protocol to make it sound important. Really a protocol is a set of rules for affairs of state or international relations. How can people fall for that?
AMBER
There really is a lot of useless information up in there.
CHARLIE
Yes there is.
AMBER
Well I think its a sign. First you tell me the waitress at the Chinese restaurant is talking about the Arena, and then this guy comes in...
CHARLIE
So we need to check it out.
AMBER
I guess so. But...
CHARLIE
What?
AMBER
Well, you and I both suffer from a very rare form mental illness, right? That causes us to see and hear things that aren’t there? And occasionally lose time?
CHARLIE
Acute Dementia from Hypo Occular Cyclothymia Disorder. Yes. That’s us. And the rest of Dr Sadler’s patients.
AMBER
I’m just saying we’re probably not the best private investigators, since we don’t know what’s real. Not to mention we don’t have any training. Or skills that could possibly help us.
CHARLIE
You’re a security guard. You know how to secure stuff.
AMBER
I guard a door that no one uses.
CHARLIE
(truly feeling it)
Look. I don’t know about you, but since I started working with Dr Sadler, things got better for me. Like a lot better. I’ve been seeing shit my whole life. I’ve always had the sneaking feeling that everything around me isn’t real. None of it. Not my parents, not my brother... nothing was ever real. I could pretend it was, and get along, and that was... it was ok, it was almost enough. But when Sadler found me, and we started working on the meds and the sessions... my life got better. Parts of it became REAL. It was like actual, normal, real life. Just like everyone else gets to have.
AMBER
I hear you.
CHARLIE
Dr Sadler fought for me. So I’m going to fight for him.
AMBER
Ok. You’re right. Charlie, you are fucking surprising, I’ll tell you that. You got me a little choked up there.
CHARLIE
I could tell.
AMBER
The fuck you could. Whatever, I’m in. Let’s do it. Let’s find Sadler.
CHARLIE
What’s the number?
AMBER
What?
CHARLIE
On the flyer that guy from the Arena had- what’s the phone number?
SFX of her rustling the paper flyer from the Arena Goon.
AMBER
Oh... here, I’ll dial. Patch me in.
CHARLIE
Wait I hit the add call button?
AMBER
Give me that phone, boomer. Put your ear buds in. We don’t want everyone knowing our business.
Now we’re in headset and microphone sound. The world of the cafe falls away. We hear the ringing and quickly the call is answered:
ARENA VOICE
Hello and thanks for calling The Arena. We’re here to radically change the way you wealth.
CHARLIE
Wealth isn’t a verb. You can’t wealth.
ARENA VOICE
If you know you’re party’s extension, you can dial it any time. To find out about our local meetings, press 1. To make an actualization by credit card or e-check, press 2. If you’re ‘psychiatrist’ has gone missing and you’re named ‘Charlie or Amber,’ press 3.
AMBER
Oh fuck.
CHARLIE
Press 3.
AMBER
I really don’t want to.
Charlie presses the digit, we hear the tone. The phone menu tree continues, substituting their names in a really fake, obvious way.
ARENA VOICE
Great! We’re glad you called, ‘Amber’ and... ‘Charlie.’ Your ‘Psychiatrist’ is missing. Sorry to hear that. If you heard about the Arena from a friend or relative, press 1. If you heard about the Arena in a dream or waking dream-like state, press 2. If you heard about the Arena from a ‘waitress’ at a ‘Chinese restaurant’ then press 3. To return to the previous menu press star.
Charlie presses a digit.
ARENA VOICE
You’re not in the right place. In order to get you to the right department, please answer a few more questions. If you think money is the key to happiness, press 1. If you think money is a system for controlling society and diminishing people’s freedoms, press 2.
AMBER
Those are the only two options?
CHARLIE
That seems pretty black and white.
AMBER
Its just like, hey maybe money is the way we value a person’s time, and make it transferable for goods and services.
CHARLIE
And maybe money amplifies both the good and the bad of society- it leads to crime, sure, but also it leads to charity and school programs and libraries.
ARENA VOICE
I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Please enter your answer on the dial pad.
AMBER
Oh shit, Charlie.
CHARLIE
What?
AMBER
The spiders. They’re... crawling out of your phone. They’re on your face man!
CHARLIE
(whisper shouting)
The spiders aren’t real, Amber. They’re NOT REAL. Are we a one or a two?
ARENA VOICE
I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Please enter your answer on the dial pad.
Amber starts banging her phone on the table.
CHARLIE
Amber! Cut it out! For real! You’re going to get us kicked out of the coffee shop. You don’t want to have to find another coffee shop, remember? Remember?! Close your eyes. Breathe.
AMBER
(almost in tears)
Two. Goddamn it Charlie. I’m a two!
CHARLIE
Me too. Ok, press two.
Amber presses a digit.
ARENA VOICE
I’m sorry to hear that you feel that way, ‘Amber’ and... ‘Charlie.’ One more question before we can assist you. If you want the ‘truth’ press one, if you are a ‘sheep’ press two.
Amber is still breathing hard and swiping at her clothes, rustling around and making a fuss.
CHARLIE
Well this one’s pretty easy.
ARENA VOICE
Is it, ‘Charlie?’
AMBER
They’re in your hair, man! There’s just so many...
Charlie presses another digit.
ARENA VOICE
Great. We’d like to share the ‘truth’ with you. All our operators are busy now. Please hang up, and we’ll call you back at this number as soon as we have an Contentment Advisor available. Thank you. Good bye.
CHARLIE
They hung up.
Charlie takes out his earbuds, puts down the phone.
AMBER
I can’t look man. Are they gone?
CHARLIE
They were never there, Amber. No spiders at all.
AMBER
I’m fucking burnt out, Charlie. I can’t handle it. And if I can’t get my meds... Its going to get worse.
As strong as Amber is, this thought brings her to the verge.
CHARLIE
We’ll figure this out. We can do it. Besides, I think I know where the Inventor’s Basement is.
AMBER
You do?
CHARLIE
Well, maybe. But its really scary, so I was kind of hoping I could avoid it.
AMBER
Where?
CHARLIE
Under Dr Sadler’s office building. There’s tunnels. Long dark echoey tunnels.
AMBER
As long as there are no spiders, I can handle it.
CHARLIE
It was different- I’ve been down to the basement level before, just because the custodian was coming up or I got on going the wrong way... but this time it looked different. It was like the entrance to a maze. With a big scary voice in it.
AMBER
So, ok. The Arena is this weird cult money-making seminar crew, and the Inventor’s Basement is underneath the doc’s office. So what’s the Old Factory?
CHARLIE
No idea.
AMBER
Well, where do we start?
Charlie’s phone rings.
CHARLIE
I think its them. The Arena. Plug in.
We go back to headset world.
ARENA VOICE
Hello. This is a call back for ‘Amber’ and ‘Charlie.’ If this is ‘Amber’ and ‘Charlie,’ please press one.
AMBER
These guys are losers.
Beep.
ARENA VOICE
Great! You’re not in the right place. Please meet us at ‘284 Van Brunt Street’ at ‘8:30 PM’ on Saturday’. Thank you. Good bye.
We come back to the ambient sounds of the coffee the shop.
CHARLIE
Well that’s super fucking weird.
AMBER
We can’t actually go to that meeting can we? I mean, that sounds very ill advised. Life is about choices, man.
CHARLIE
284 Van Brunt street. Huh. Look at that.
AMBER
What?
CHARLIE
Its a Red Lobster. I love lobster.
AMBER
You’re kidding me.
CHARLIE
No I really do. The butter. Its so good.
AMBER
No, not that you like lobster, that they want to meet at a RED LOBSTER. That’s just, I don’t even know. Is it a date or something?
CHARLIE
The waitress, back at the Chinese restaurant, she asked me if I liked lobster...
INÉS
I love lobster. Its my favorite.
CHARLIE
Oh hi, Inés. Hello.
INÉS
Hi. I brought you guys refills. Thanks again for helping me with that weirdo.
AMBER
Oh man, that’s... really nice of you. Thank you.
CHARLIE
Wait, you really like lobster?
INÉS
Love it. I eat it like a rogue mermaid- just chomp right through the shell.
CHARLIE
Do you want to eat lobster with me?
INÉS
Um...
AMBER
With us. He means with us.
CHARLIE
You can’t go Amber, you work on Saturdays.
AMBER
Oh shit you’re right. I have to guard the door.
CHARLIE
Exactly. And it turns out, Inés, that I have a meeting that happens to be taking place at a very well regarded lobster restaurant.
INÉS
Ok, yeah. Why not. Sounds like an adventure.
CHARLIE
I think its definitely going to be an adventure.
AMBER
Yeah like bring your mace and let your roommates know where you’re going kind of adventure.
INÉS
Wait what?
AMBER
No, I’m just fucking with you. Charlie’s my boy. It’ll be very safe. Boring even.
CHARLIE
Jesus, Amber. She’s trying to be helpful.
(to Amber)
Don’t be helpful.
(to Inés)
Saturday night- should I pick you up? Or do you want to meet there?
INÉS
Why don’t I meet you there. Here, give me your phone... that’s my number. Just text me the address.
CHARLIE
Amazing. You won’t regret it. I mean it’ll be fun.
INÉS
You guys are pretty irregular, huh?
AMBER
We have a lot going on right now.
CHARLIE
Amber and I have the same doctor, this guy Dr Sadler, and he’s gone missing.
AMBER
Well, he’s been MIA for a week, I don’t know if he’s missing exactly...
INÉS
Oh yeah, Dr Sadler, I know him. He comes in here all the time.
AMBER
He does?
INÉS
Sure.
AMBER
What’s he drink? I’m so curious about this dude, you know? Is he a straight coffee guy, or is he like into mocha frapuccino’s and we don’t even know.
CHARLIE
Have you seen him? Like this week, has he been in here?
INÉS
Actually I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t really keep track or anything, but...
CHARLIE
But you don’t think so?
INÉS
No. No definitely not, actually.
(to Amber)
Cappuccino. Old school.
AMBER
Makes sense, totally. Goes with the elbow patches.
INÉS
Classy, right? He’s like Alex Trebek. Oh shit I gotta head back. See you later.
AMBER
Yeah we gotta split too.
CHARLIE
Yeah I have to finish this stupid toilet manual.
INÉS
What? Ok tell me about that later.
AMBER
Later, Inés.
CHARLIE
See you Saturday.
AMBER
Come on, Charlie.
You hear them walk out of the cafe onto the street.
EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS
AMBER
Well goddamn, son. I guess I owe you an apology.
CHARLIE
Just sayin’.
AMBER
Kid’s got game.
CHARLIE
I’m manifesting.
AMBER
Ok Tony Robbins. Just don’t get all weird on her and make it awkward. Like for real.
CHARLIE
I got this.
AMBER
I hope so. Finding a new coffee joint- I don’t know if I have it me.
CHARLIE
It’s no big deal, alright? Its just a date.
AMBER
A Red Lobster date. That’s a big deal where I’m from.
CHARLIE
Look what do we do about this Arena thing? I mean, did they like, abduct Dr Sadler? Am I trying to negotiate a ransom?
AMBER
Fuck I don’t know. I guess just hear them out. But, you know, don’t be all trusting and shit. I mean, I’d wear your skeptical pants.
CHARLIE
The cords?
AMBER
I don’t know which literal pants, Charlie. I’m using a metaphor. I’m saying use the tools, right? Like Sadler says. Put what they say in a bucket and sort through later, like its stuff you found walking on the beach.
CHARLIE
Sadler never said that stuff about walking on the beach.
AMBER
I know. That was me.
CHARLIE
I like it. It’s wistful.
AMBER
Don’t get all captain vocab with me.
CHARLIE
I’m just saying its a nice touch.
AMBER
Well, thanks. Hey, have you talked to Pauline?
CHARLIE
No. I should probably give her a call.
AMBER
Ok well I’m going to make like a banana. Gotta drop off my uniform at the cleaners.
CHARLIE
Can’t guard a door if your wrinkled.
AMBER
Right? I’m the human equivalent of a surveillance camera. Fuck me.
CHARLIE
No way man. You’re important and dynamic and you have free will.
AMBER
Thanks bro.
CHARLIE
Later.
AMBER
Later.
EXT STREET - CONTINUOUS
Charlie leaves and calls Pauline.
PAULINE
Hello?
CHARLIE
Hi Pauline, hey its Charlie.
PAULINE
Hi! How are you?
(to someone in the background)
No! Not this one, that one! Come on Felicia!
(back to Charlie)
Sorry I’m at work.
CHARLIE
Of course. No prob. I’m just wondering if you heard from Sadler?
PAULINE
No, weirdly. Everyone in the group has been calling, but I haven’t heard a thing. Fucking Clarence has been calling me nonstop.
CHARLIE
Clarence is in a tough spot.
PAULINE
I get it, we all are. But seriously. No, I shouldn’t say that- we really have to support each other. But look, its been, what? A week? I mean, Sadler’s been solid for YEARS, if he needed to go out of town on a family emergency or something, I’m sure he’ll pop up in the next day or two. Personally, I think we should just sit tight, give him a couple of days.
CHARLIE
Well, normally I’d say yeah, that sounds right, but there’ve been a couple indications that something nefarious is going on.
PAULINE
Like what?
CHARLIE
Well, like the waitress at the Chinese restaurant told me I needed to complete three trials to find Sadler.
PAULINE
Ok. Ok. But, how long have you been out of your meds?
CHARLIE
Only a couple days.
PAULINE
Well, we know how quickly we can regress, right? Use the tools, Charlie! Question reality, verify with friends. We know how to handle this.
CHARLIE
Yeah, sure, sure. You’re right.
PAULINE
Ok. I have to go, but we have group on Sunday. You should come.
CHARLIE
I’ll try. I will. I’ll try.
PAULINE
(to her coworker)
Why would you even show that to me? Are you broken? Did your parents feed you Drano?
(to Charlie)
Ok honey well just call me if you need anything. Kisses.
On the street, Charlie takes out his ear buds. We’re back in the world of the busy street.
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
Suddenly the Arena Goon from the coffee shop calls out.
ARENA GOON
Hey!
CHARLIE
Oh, its you, the Arena guy. Look, you can’t go into that coffee shop anymore. I’m sorry if I threatened you or anything, but you--
ARENA GOON
Yeah yeah yeah, don’t worry about it. Look we have other shit to figure out here. The Arena wants to help you, but they’re not sure if you’re ready.
CHARLIE
Ready for what?
ARENA GOON
For the truth, man!
We hear the SFX turn from a street in Manhattan to a wooded area with birds chirping.
CHARLIE
Oh shit.
ARENA GOON
What?
CHARLIE
Are we still standing on a street in Manhattan?
ARENA GOON
Yeah, of course.
CHARLIE
Ok, because all I see are beautiful woods, with a bunch of deer and squirrels and butterflies and stuff.
ARENA GOON
That’s The Imperfection. Don’t worry about it, its not real.
CHARLIE
‘The Imperfection?’ What the fuck is that?
ARENA GOON
That’s what they call it. Acute Dementia from Hypo Occular Cyclothymia.
CHARLIE
Wait who the fuck are you and how do you know this stuff about me?!
ARENA GOON
Go to the meeting at Red Lobster, talk to the Woman Who Has No Name.
CHARLIE
Wait, the deer are all running away. What did you do?
ARENA GOON
Nothing, man. The light turned green. They’re not deer, they’re cars. Here.
The Arena Goon punches him in the stomach. We here the impact of the punch and Charlie has the wind knocked out of him. The ARENA GOON immediately helps him.
ARENA GOON
Its ok! Just breath, that’s right.
CHARLIE
Ow fuck what the fuck man!
The sounds turn back to city SFX.
ARENA GOON
There you go. Now look around. Look around, man. What do you see?
CHARLIE
The street. I’m back on the street.
ARENA GOON
Pain. It resets the system.
CHARLIE
That sounds like a Dead Kennedy’s song.
ARENA GOON
Ha, yeah. Or like Rage against the Machine.
CHARLIE
Totally. Thanks, I guess. Thanks for punching me.
ARENA GOON
No problem.
CHARLIE
I was being facetious.
ARENA GOON
Cool, whatever. You’re welcome. Look, just go to the meeting. A woman with no name. Don’t fuck it up.
The goon is moving away from Charlie and yelling now.
ARENA GOON
And be careful with Inés. She’s not who she seems!!